Literally cannot emphasize enough that my #1 writing advice is to stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of sounding too cringe, or too stupid, or too horrifying, or too horny, or too weird, or too much, or too little, or too you. You need to put your entire pussy into your art. Sure, it won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but if you keep yourself to the blandest tamest safest roads possible you will be of no one’s tastes, not even yours.
“why do people conflate top/bottom and Dom/sub” because we haven’t socially destigmatized kink. that’s literally it.
if you say you’re topping your boyfriend when you push him around in the bedroom you’re being cool and quirky and using slang to describe your antics. if you do the same thing and say you’re domming him you must be a seriously freaky person. that’s why people use top to mean Dom and bottom to mean sub. they know even if we allow the nice clean gays with their fun bedroom terms into our society, we should never ever be like Those People who spend significant amounts of time and energy learning how to have the kind of sex so many of us clumsily imitate in our bedrooms.
“researching kink is forbidden. talking about kink is forbidden. slapping your partner and choking them is normal because I saw it in porn and my buddies say they do it. don’t go to seminars on how to manage the risk of those activities or you’re a sex-obsessed freak. I’m the normal one, the one whose partner chokes me with their belt and doesn’t know what aftercare is. I’m a bottom.”
the problem is that kink activities are socially acceptable and even expected, but having any awareness of the terminology or safe ways to play surrounding them is heavily stigmatized. kink anti-intellectualism is rampant among people of every political orientation because of how badly our society has poisoned us. so we can’t even say Dom or sub to refer to ourselves. it’s a symptom of that problem.
Went to the zoo today and they had these Arabian Oryxes but one of them found a hat somebody presumably dropped in the enclosure and was playing with it
He managed to get it on too. Looking stylish my friend
good afternoon to all the mean, angry, fed up aros, aces, and agender folks. your anger is completely warranted in this era of late stage capitalism and you deserve to fucking rage and scream and tear apart the system that does not make space for you.
